Why I do what I do and why I care to do it...

I have had a lot of my friend say super supportive things about my journey to better myself. 
One really hit home for me though. One of my dear friends said "you are my hero". 

I remember saying that to my Uncle Mike and my Aunt Rita for years. Uncle Mike battled his entire life with diabetes, and he lost the battle, but he is one of my heroes. 

My Aunt Rita was similar. She battled with diabetes also and it eventually took her like also. She wanted to stop dialysis 4 years in, as it was so hard. I sent her a letter that said that I would not believe that a Mariotti would quit.
I shared with her that she was my warrior and that I needed her to be strong. She knew that she would never "get better", yet she set her mind to live for 3 more years. After 7 years of dialysis her quality of life was so compromised that she chose to stop.
I still struggled with the fact that she would choose to die, but she felt that if she couldn't do what she used to then that was no life at all.

Everyone may think that I am trying to loose weight for vain reasons (which is the usual reason) and I am not.
I am doing everything that I can do to stay alive, to be present.
I wake up everyday with pain. I try not to complain about it (my Mom always says that no one likes a whiner)..
I smile and I make a concerted effort to improve the lives of everyone I know or come in contact with everyday. 
I pray each day, making sure that God use me as a instrument of his peace.
I try to be the best version of myself I can be.
I want to see my nieces and nephews go to college.
I want to see Emily, Maggie and Jana get married someday.

I am not fortunate enough to "KNOW" that these things will be in my lifetime (INSERT here that people say "Well, no one knows when their time is up.  I could get hit by a truck today).

I am loosing weight so I do not end up diabetic. I am trying so hard because I want to be here on this earth.